Tender Malignancy of My Brittle Heart by Amrita Valan

There are vital

Ulcers. Livid lacerations

Lace my heart.

Not scars.

No scabs can ever form

Calcified granulomas

These are solar lesions

Focal deficits of visceral 

Emotions. 

Inadequately expressed.

My tender windows of hope

Opportunities to love

Meet and meld

Melt upon the windowsills

Dissipate into the wide rind

Of a heartless tender sky.

Amendments never made.

I always pleaded the fifth

To myself.

Waiting for

Tomorrow.

The Godot of my ghettoes

Of despair.

I remain fascinated

Still

Comatose.

And recall

Vishnu’s smile seeping

From my framed

Worldview.

How I grasped my tender pain

Like straws

Always drawing the short ones.

Gasped my absolution 

Into his conchshell ear

Necessity the mother

Of my inventive spirituality.

With a lovely garland of

Snow white flowers, pristine 

My heart trembling oceans

Leaking from his all encompassing eyes.

This brittle heart

Still raw.

Blazing driftwood 

Malignant

Wondering

Whence shall mercy flow

Or start?

Amrita Valan is from India, mother of two boys. She holds a master’s degree in English literature. She has worked in several BPOs, in American health insurance and British motor insurance, a content creator (Deductive Logic and Reasoning in English, simulated questions for MBA Aspirants), and a receptionist at a five-star hotel.