Your Majesty,
History talks of you as a great king
endowed with unsurpassed powers.
Yes, I wouldn't deny it.
But, pardon me,
you are a cruel man
though it's not possible for me to hate you.
I hope you can feel how painful I am when I say this.
Do you still remember the night
my father and I came to your help
while you lay worn out in exile
with gore-moistened arms and cuts on your sweaty face in Kyaungbyu
after losing Khin U to His Majesty Anuradha?
Was it because you felt a touch of kindness in my hands
that touched you?
But since then, I got a sensation
through your eyes
that your heart overreacted to mere kindness
with a bout of love freshly-sprung.
When I tended your wounds with my father,
I just wanted to save a life.
I didn't feel beyond that.
I swear.
It was you
that whispered under the magnolia tree
of how you felt towards me,
cool like the sylvan stream nearby.
Wasn't it you that treated me nearly like my father,
especially when we went hunting.
You are the only stranger
second to my father in my life
that offered me a sky of care and security.
Let me say it was also you
that taught a woman with a diamond heart
how to love a stranger.
On full moon nights I remember falling asleep,
seeing the wondrous moonlight in your irises.
Didn't you know
that I had entrusted the rest of my life
to the beauteous dreams outlined by your lips?
If only
I had been able to tell you
how I woke up every morn with heartbeats.
I didn't.
I couldn't!
I wonder how I came to be
obsessed with you
while I had always drilled into my brain
that you belonged to the place
which seemed colossally high to us
like the azure sky,
with strong bonds already tied to you
long before destiny let us meet,
and that the day would come
when you had to return where you came from,
leaving behind a nondescript woman
you had met on your journey.
Why didn't you tell us earlier
that you already had
another woman to love
before you came to our little world?
Why didn't we know
that you were the would-be King
who would get to make Her Highness Khin U,
your first love, your queen?
When I knew everything,
everything was late!
I had my son in my belly,
your son, half your royal blood.
Don't you know
how it feels to be a mother?
I don't mean the pain
I went through bringing my little son to this realm.
It's worth suffering
if it's for my son,
which is also yours.
Why did I know
that I had ended up as your second person
only long after I had your baby inside me?
I'm not saying in malice
against Her Highness Manisanda.
As a woman, she can love you
and there's nothing wrong
about falling in love with a person.
But, hadn't you ever taken her heart into consideration
before you began to love me?
Betrayal towards another woman
is treachery towards me.
Hti Hlaing Shin, if you are a man
who truly knows how to love a woman,
all of this wouldn't have happened.
Finally, you said to us,
"Come to the palace,
bringing this ring
if you happen to
give birth to a son."
Your Majesty,
you should know
what you meant
when you said
those words.
You should know
what your words meant.
Then how easily you left!
Did you see
that I remained frozen
behind your fading shadow
with shattered hopes and hopes,
new but beautiful, to grow?
While we had trouble,
your baby and me,
sleeping with mosquitoes buzzing around,
you were asleep beside another woman or women
in the cocoon of the Arimadanapura Palace.
Did you know
that I came to search for you
walking miles to the Palace Gate
with our son Yazakumar,
not because I couldn't resist the desire
to be one of your queens,
but because I understood my son?
Didn't you wonder
how the people in Kyaungbyu would be treating our son?
Sink into my flesh.
You would experience
a world of pains
a single mother carries
as you have
the weight of your Kingdom to carry.
But, thank you so much, Your Majesty,
the way you stood up for my son,
bestowing on him what he deserves as a prince,
as you knew that the time was too late
for you to choose your first son Yazakumar
as the heir to the throne.
In the end,
in the Myanmar History,
I was made your Chief concubine.
But, I don't want future women to think
highly of me and
that my story ended well.
It's just that
Thanbula spoke up for her son,
reclaiming her lost love from the man
that has played with the hearts of women.
Your Majesty,
I don't have any doubt
when I say
that your kingship will remain fragrant
among your new people yet to come.
But remember, we're destined
to be stranded in sansara.
Whenever I return to your Shwe See Gone;
whenever I traverse the sun-sprinkled alleys of Pagan
resonant with the dusty royal history,
Hti Hlaing Shin,
your love of Thanbula
would still remain
out of my faith.
NOTE
Anuradha - referring to King Anawrahta
Hti Hlaing Shin - referring to King Kyansittha
Shin - used to address Kings or Queens perhaps sometimes
Khin U - Another Name of Princess Manisanda
(A historical poem with a few safe changes made for a more fictional effect, putting myself in Her Highness Thanbula's life)
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